Setting limits with your child

Setting limits with your child

Setting limits with our children can be difficult. Kids push the limits daily, they know our triggers and what we react to. We step in and try to fix their problems. We want our children to love us, we want our children to be our friend. We want to be their hero. But this comes at a cost – children lack respect for their parents and teachers, have little self-control, and try to control those around them. Not everything will go their way. Children must learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings. There is a saying, “whoever controls the mood, controls the home”. If a child has not been given limits in their life, parents tread warily around their child trying not to upset them for fear the child will be angry and the parent will not be liked. We don’t trust that there is a strong enough bond with our children because the fear of not being liked by our offspring is powerful.

Setting limits with your child teaches them appropriate behaviour. Schools set limits with children about behaviour and what is expected. Limit-setting should also be a given at home, such as setting time limits around computer or gaming use so your child can do their homework. Setting limits teach appropriate behaviour and keeps your child safe.

Our role as a parent is to be a teacher, a coach, a carer. Responding to a child in a firm calm voice reassures a child that you are in control and they feel safe. When a child knows appropriate limits, they learn how to develop healthy relationships within the family and the community. They will learn to take responsibility for their emotions that will equip them to move positively into adulthood.

If you would like to learn more about understanding and supporting your child’s development, please contact us on 9334 0111 or connect@thenortherncentre.org.au to arrange to talk with one of our experienced Family Workers in a confidential setting.