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Boredom is good for your child

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“Muuum, I’m bored”, he yelled out. The desperate howl of a child who has ‘nothing to do’ strikes terror into parents. Many parents go into overdrive to occupy their child – sign up for art class, gym class, dance instruction or another activity. As parents, we feel the need to fill up any spaces in our children’s lives. But is boredom a bad thing? It’s important for children to learn the ‘art of boredom’. Unstructured time helps a child to choose how they will spend that time, such as observing worms in the compost, drawing pictures in chalk on the pavement, creating a play area out of boxes, making music out of pots and pans or organising the local kids to play. This is a time when their imagination and creativity will shine.

Boredom can also help your child learn the art of waiting patiently and delayed gratification, which are very important life skills. Kids will learn to entertain themselves, so they don’t have to find external sources to fill the void. They are also then less likely to complain or whine when boring situations arise.

Give your child the space to be bored. Their mind is bombarded with images and flashing designs at home, shopping centres and on street signs. So having down time will not only help to calm your child, but they will discover a hidden talent that they could become passionate about. A child will learn to be resourceful and inventive when boredom takes hold.

Have a screen-free time at least one hour a day on weekends and school holidays to give their mind a rest and experience boredom. In some homes, one hour may be an eternity, but structure in some ‘boredom time’ and it will become a habit. Additionally, try screen-free time for the whole family. Children observe what we, as parents, say and do so consider which creative activities you could come up with – baking, scrapbooking, creating and flying a kite, drawing, making soap, reading. The possibilities are endless. Re-visit those creative passions from your own childhood and your children may want to learn from your unique imaginings.

If you would like to learn more about understanding and supporting your child’s development, please contact us on 9334 0111 or connect@thenortherncentre.org.au to arrange to talk with one of our experienced Family Workers in a confidential setting.

Top tips to help improve your child’s behaviour

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Reduce ‘The Talk’, Reduce ‘The Noise’

As parents we all want our children to listen to us. We want our children to hear our instructions. But most parents, including myself, talk too much to our children, giving them a list of instructions that is overwhelming for a child. Ensure you have your child’s attention and give one instruction at a time such as “unpack your school bag”, helps your child hear and carry out the task. Once that is completed tell your child the next task, such as “put your dirty clothes in the basket”. Reducing the talk when issuing instructions helps to reduce ‘noise’ in a child’s brain and it will reduce the conflict between yourself and your child.

Pick Your Battles

It’s tempting for parents to tell their child to “stop doing this or that” or issue a list of “no’s”. Decide on the importance of the behaviour and whether it is something you want changed now. Bouncing a ball in the house may be a small irritation to some parents and could be ignored. If your child is yelling, though, is this a behaviour you want your child to stop or could you ignore it? So consider which behaviours you could ignore from your child and which you want stopped. In future posts, this will be discussed further.

Tune in to Your Child’s World

It is not unusual for a child to have a tantrum. Your child may be hungry, thirsty or tired. Carry snacks and water when you are out and about. For those times when your child is either upset or pleased about an event in their life, use words and statements to reflect back to your child how they may feel – “You seem upset”, “It sounds like you were proud of that achievement” or “You’re worried how it will go” are some reflective statements showing the child that you have an understanding of their world. Listening with empathy, being calm and using 4 – 5 reflective statements back to your child is key to lowering the intense feelings which a child displays. Try it next time on your child. Try it on your partner and friends too. Their reaction may surprise you.

If you would like to learn more about understanding and supporting your child’s development, please contact us on 9334 0111 or connect@thenortherncentre.org.au to arrange to talk with one of our experienced Family Workers in a confidential setting.

Preventing Techno-Tantrums

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By Dr Kristy Goodwin

Your child screams at you telling you, “You’re the worst mum in the world!” This might be followed by feet-stomping, huffs and puffs, clenched fists, grunting and a host of other (undesirable) behaviours. And all of this because you simply asked for your iPhone back! As modern parents, chances are we’ve experienced our children throwing a techno-tantrum.

So does this simply mean that we have to accept techno-tantrums, as a modern parents’ reality?

As I’ve previously explained, techno-tantrums are completely normal and often a result of the neurobiological changes that occur when kids use technology. But this doesn’t mean that we have to simply accept that they’re part of our modern parenting reality.

What you need to know about techno-tantrums

  • You can read more about why kids have techno-tantrums here (and it’s not just to infuriate you);
  • Just because your child doesn’t like handing over your smartphone, or shutting the laptop lid doesn’t mean they’re addicted. It simply means that they’re having a (strong) neurobiological response and if their tantrums have been occurring for a while, you may need to establish some new healthy, technology habits.
  • Over time, if you’re consistent with your media rules, your child’s techno-tantrums are likely to subside or completely disappear.

There are some simple strategies that we can do to minimise the onset of a techno-tantrum. Whilst I can’t guarantee that these will always ensure that your child gleefully switches off their device when asked, they can certainly reduce the chances of experiencing an emotional explosion (aka. a techno-tantrum). The following strategies will help to reduce the severity of a techno-tantrum and over time, techno-tantrums will dissipate:

  • Establish and enforce firm guidelines about how long they can use screens
  • Focus on quantity not duration
  • Use a timer or clock
  • Provide cues and verbal reminders to transition away from the device before their time elapses
  • Encourage young children to switch the device off themselves
  • Have a succession plan
  • Play bad cop
  • Be consistent

Remember, techno-tantrums are often a normal part of development. They’re an emotional storm that children aren’t yet equipped to handle. That’s why our job as parents and educators is so critical – we have to show them how to deal with these big emotions without always combusting into fits of tears.

Remember, young children don’t yet have the hindsight or catastrophe scale to deal with this situation because of limited life experiences. So when you ask for your smartphone back (and their brain is giving them lots of dopamine, they might be in the state of flow and there’s novelty- something new and exciting to look at), this feels like a level 10 on the catastrophe scale.

Don’t take the situation personally. Like all ages and stages, this too shall pass.

If you would like to learn more about helping your child in a digital world, check out our Events web page for upcoming Dr Kristy Goodwin events.

5 Simple toys to make at home for your toddler

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Are you looking for some cheap ways to create fun activities at home with your child? Here are five of our early childhood worker’s favourites.

1. Ribbon Box


What you need
A box (large enough for your child to climb into), ribbons and sticky tape
The box could cost nothing from the supermarket. Some cheap options to purchase ribbon rolls are Discount Craft Supplies, Craft4Kids, Big W or Spotlight.
Always supervise your child, as there may be a chocking danger.

2. Peg Bucket


What you need
A few different kinds of pegs and a small plastic container.
Some pegs should be easier to take off than others. An empty, clean food container would be ideal if you’re on a budget.
Very good for pre pencil holding skills and fine motor skills.

3. Matching numbers and letters

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What you need
Box, paint, glue, sticks, letters and numbers.
Paint your box and let it dry. Then cut some slots into the top for the sticks to go into. Glue your matching numbers and letters on the box and sticks. Once dry, see if your child can match the numbers and letters.

4. Ping pong balls


What you need
Ping pong balls and a container.
Ping pong balls are so easy for your toddler to handle and enjoy. They fill their hands and they bounce a little!
They are also easy to wash and keep clean. I also cut different sizes holes in the container lid to put the balls through, as a bit of extra fun.

5. Sensory fabric box


What you need
Paint, tissue box or any small box with top like a tissue box, different texture fabrics.
Paint your tissue box and let it dry. Use existing scraps of fabric and/or buy different types of fabrics that feel and look different. Most fabric stores have a bin with fabrics ends that are cheap to buy. Different colours and textures are important for your toddler to be able to pull out of the box and enjoy!

If you would like to learn more about understanding and supporting your child’s development, please contact us on 9334 0111 or connect@thenortherncentre.org.au to arrange to talk with one of our experienced Family Workers in a confidential setting.

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